Masturbation
by Tabris Macbeth
Summary: Someone has a dirty little secret...


Masturbation by Tabris Macbeth  
  
rated PG for sexual content  
  
disclaimer: As Popeye would put it, I owns what I owns, and that all that I owns. Needless to say, I don't "owns" the Teen Titans.   
  
Beast Boy could kick himself for having that water drinking contest with Cyborg. He should have known something was up, and now- at 2 am- he was dragging his tired, full bladdered self to the bathroom. And as if someone wanted to add insult to injury, the door was locked.  
"Oh, c'mon! It's the middle of-"  
He heard soft moaning on the other side of the door.  
"Wha? Terra? You in there?"  
There was a gasp.  
"Oh, uh, hold on! Almost done!"  
After the sounds of flushing and running water, the door open.  
"You're up pretty late, BB."  
"Mm. Pee tank's full." Beast Boy muttered as he shambled into the bathroom.  
Terra sighed in relief. He didn't suspect a thing.  
Her hands were clean now, but they still felt dirty. Worse still, the urge hadn't left her. It made her feel sick, but she felt like she had to it out of her system. She had tried to resist, but that disgusting urge wasn't leaving her alone. She found herself staying up whole nights, thinking about relieving the pressure building up down there. She thought she could just slip a finger inside and be done with it. After a month and a half, she discovered it was only a temporary solution. A solution that Beast Boy had interupted.  
She returned to her room. She had to finish the job.  
  
"Terra? Terra?"  
Terra's mind snapped to attention. Her body wasn't as fast to act.  
"C'mon, Terra! Wake up!"  
Her head slumped to the side the voice was coming from.  
"Mornin', Beebs."  
As she began to stretch, she noticed a hand slipped out of her shorts.  
"Uh, Terra...I think you should...um..."  
He sheepishly pointed to a wet spot on Terra's blanket. The color drained from her face when she saw it. She knew very well what that fluid was.  
"Oh God! Beast Boy, swear you won't tell anyone!"  
She grabbed him by the shoulders.  
"Swear it!"  
Beast Boy was scared of that look in her eyes. It looked like she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. The last time she had that look, she ran away. Ever since Terra returned, he had become cautious whenever she raised her voice.  
"Calm down, Tear Bear!" he said as he gently took Terra's hands, "Hey, I almost wet the bed myself. I supposed I deserved it for having a water drinking contest. I mean, a water drinking contest? Dude, how stupid is that?"  
His jesting didn't calm her down much.  
"Terra, it's just an accident. I know you've been having trouble sleeping. It's no big deal, alright?"  
She fell forwards, into her friend's awaiting arms.  
"You're soft." she said with a small giggle.  
"And I have a chewy caramel center."  
He was soft, and warm. And that uniform was so tight on him...  
"Uh, Terra, not to ruin the moment, but...you might wanna change..."  
Beast Boy left her alone to change. She stared at her bed in disgust. She had did it again. Her sick little addiction had gotten the better of her, and she was almost caught with her hand in the cookie jar. And now, being held by Beast Boy, she wanted to stick her hand back in. No time for that, though.  
After throwing her soiled laundry in the washer, she joined the rest of the Titans in the living room.  
"Now that everyone's here," said Robin, "There's something we need to talk about."  
Cyborg blamed Beast Boy for something, and then vice versa, but in Terra's ears, it was all white noise. She had a idea what this was about.  
"It seems we've been getting a lot of junk mail lately. Adult oriented junk mail."  
That shut them up.  
"I've checked the logs of the terminals in the computer room and someone has been looking at some pretty...colorful material."  
"Like construction paper?" Starfire asked.  
Robin didn't dignify that with a response.  
"I don't who did it," he said with a glance towards Cyborg and Beast Boy, "But our internet connection isn't for downloading porn. I'm not going to judge whoever it was, but no more adult sites."  
As soon as he left the room, the gossip started. Cyborg and Beast Boy were going on about what Robin uncovered, while Starfire was inquiring Raven as to what pornography was. Terra tried to distance herself from both conversations.  
"Yo, Terra!"  
It didn't work entirely.  
"Who do you think's behind this porno caper?" asked Cyborg.  
She gave a half hearted shrug and mumbled that she didn't know.  
"You okay, Terra?" Beast Boy said, "You seem a little...nevermind."  
When Cyborg asked what was up, Terra said nothing and walked off in a huff. Raven watched her intently as she left.  
  
Beast Boy quietly stalked the dark hallway, letting instinct guide his actions. When he heard the sound of keys being pounded, he knew his prey was near. He gently put a hand on the door to the comptuer room. With a deep breath, he suppressed his giggle. Whoever it was, they were going to be in for a nasty surprise.  
"Raven?!"  
It was Raven. Raven, of all people, had been the one looking up pornography.  
"Before you say anything-" she started.  
"You?! You're the dude looking up porn?! But-but-but...you're a total spinster! I didn't even know you had...those sorta feelings!"  
Raven took a moment to calm herself before responding.  
"This is not what it looks like."  
"Yes it is! You like porn! That's so cool!" Beast Boy blurted out.  
"Do you ever listen to yourself?"  
"I fade in and out."  
As if this hadn't been bad enough, now she had to explain herself to Beast Boy.  
"Look. I'm checking out the back logs. Using my empathic abilities, I can figure out who-"  
"Isn't that how you move stuff?"  
"No, that's telekinesis."  
"Isn't that how telephones work?"  
Raven groaned and waved him away.  
"Go be stupid somewhere...else..."  
She trailed off as she caught site of a banner for "Li'l Angels". The girl's face in the banner looked suspiciously like Terra's. She immediately clicked on it.  
"This was the last site in the logs."  
Li'l Angels, on the surface, was an innocent looking site. The font was cute and colorful, and the background had chubby little cherubs surrounded by little hearts. The free gallery wasn't anything too suspicious, either. Just cute pictures of young girls. There was one girl, though, that stood out.  
"Tara Markov." Raven read, "Age eleven."  
The picture was of a younger Terra, wearing a nice little cowgirl get up. It would have all seemed cute and innocent if not for the registration link that said "see more of me".  
"Terra was-"  
"Hold on!" Beast Boy interrupted, "I know Terra was acting weird earlier, but she had an accident this morn-"  
He covered his mouth.  
"Oh geez! Please don't tell anyone I said that! Please!"  
"Beast Boy, if this was Terra...I don't think she did this because of raging hormones. We should talk to her."  
"No!" Beast Boy screamed, grabbing Raven's shoulders.  
"What's wrong with you? There could be something seriously wrong. Are you really going to let her suffer quietly?"  
Beast Boy hung his head.  
"I don't want her to leave again. This morning, she totally freaked out. I got so scared. I...I-"  
"Alright." Raven said, her tone softening, "I'll let you talk to her. If Robin asks, I'll just...I don't know...say you were curious."  
"Thanks, Ra-"  
He cut himself off.  
"Curious? Curious...how? What was Terra looking at?"  
"You want me to keep quiet?"  
Beast Boy sighed and walked off to his room. And it just so happened Terra was in the hall, on her way to the bathroom.  
"Burnin' the midnight oil again, BB?" she said, "Have another water drinking contest?"  
Beast Boy laughed half heartedly.  
"Hey, Terra? Can we talk?"  
"Sure!" she said, taking his hand, "I was having trouble sleeping. I mean, I'm not saying your boring! I just-"  
"Terra...I think that your the one who looked up those adult sites."  
She stared at him in shocked silence. Then a thought crossed her mind, and she slowly smiled. She lead Beast Boy to her room and locked the door behind her.  
"There's a reason I looked at those sites."  
Beast Boy was a little creeped out by her smile.  
"And I'm gonna show you why."  
It looked sly and predatory, almost seductive. Terra was a flirter, but she had never this overt.  
"Uh, Terra...Tear Bear...we need to talk..."  
"Shhh." she said, putting a finger to his lips, "No talking."  
With a small push, Beast Boy stumbled back onto Terra's bed.  
"We really need to talk!"  
"There's something I need, too." she whispered in his ear, "You."  
"Terra, please!"  
Terra stopped. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.  
"What wrong? I'm not doing something right?"  
"You sure aren't! You're looking up porn, you mess yourself- and I know that wasn't pee, because, being Beast Boy, I can smell the difference between urine and...whatever girls make- and now you're trying to do me?! Raven was right! There's something- Uh oh."  
He knew he had made a tremendous mistake in letting that slip.  
"Raven was right about what?" she said irately.  
"Well, she was checking the log, and she say that the last site that was looked at had pictures of you. I think you looked pretty cute in that cowgirl outfit, but Raven-"  
"Li'l Angels?"  
Terra was getting that "nervous breakdown" look in her eyes again.  
"Yeah. I told-"  
Terra grabbed him and stared directly into his eyes.  
"What did you see?"  
"Just the free gallery."  
She fell silent.  
"You didn't see anything." she finally said.  
What she said wasn't out of denial. There was far more than what Beast Boy had saw. In her eyes, he could see that. She was trying to hold back the tears.  
"Terra, you...oh God...you aren't saying..."  
Terra just nodded.  
"Oh man. I should have...I'm sorry, Terra. I-"  
"Don't tell anyone."  
The words barely escaped her lips. Beast Boy felt that an old feeling sweep over him. It was that same feeling of helplessness he felt when Terra ran away.  
"I swear to God, you tell anyone, and I'll never forgive you."  
Beast Boy didn't say anything. He just held her as she cried herself to sleep.  
  
Terra stirred away. She was relieved to find her sheets dry and her hands under her pillow. Finally, a normal day. She had a good night's sleep, for once, and everything was looking up. That is, until, she saw everyone had gathered in the living room.  
"What's going on? Some super villain on the loose? Meteorite about to hit the city? What? Why's everyone...just..."  
She realized what was going on when she saw the look of shame Beast Boy was wearing.  
"You told them." she said in a mix of disbelief and rage, "You actually told them! I want nothing to do with any of you ever again!"  
As she stomped towards the door, Beast Boy spoke up.  
"I did it because I care about you! We all do! Go ahead and hate me if you want, but I care about you too much to just let this go!"  
Terra stopped in her tracks. He was right. Slowly, painfully, she turned around. They needed to talk.   
  
author's notes: I was reading Koujaku's Dirty Little Secrets (nice, despite horrible spelling and grammatical errors), and I got the idea to write a story where one of the Titans is totally freaked up. At first, I was going to use Raven, but then I thought about Terra. She's this young drifter, all alone in the world. It would be easy for her to get drawn into this seedy element and get taken advantage of. For as long as I can remember, I've been fascinated with the darker side of humanity. I love it when I can integrate my knowledge of that into a work, because if you can do it right (and hopefully, I did), you get people thinking.  
Normally, I like my closing my notes with some little zinger telling people to give fan mail and praise. This time, though, I'll just end this with one of my favorite sayings of all time: Art imitates life. 


End file.
